Child Abuse
Helping you to protect your child.
As a parent, I cannot bear the thought of my child, or any other children being used by adults just to satisfy their sexual needs.
I have put together some information on who to contact should you become aware of child pornography - you can find their addresses, phone numbers and email addresses by following this link - stop paedophiles now
What a paedophile could teach you about communicating with your children.
This article was released by the UK Home Office and the ISP UKonline
What are your children's nicknames at school? Who do they fancy, and why? What's the title of their favourite band's current single? Do you know? Most parents wouldn't.
It's the stuff children think adults, their parents included, aren't interested in. The stuff they only talk to each other about. The kind of stuff they talk about on the internet. For children especially, the internet is fantastic, socially as well as educationally. They're mad about chat rooms. They can't see, or be seen by whoever they're talking to in the chat rooms. So they're not shy about anything. If they want, they can pretend to be someone else, make up a name, lie through their teeth if they like. Problem is, so can other people.
Whatever you think about paedophiles, they aren't stupid. They know that they can access children's chat rooms. And by pretending to be a child themselves, they can gradually build a friendship with a potential victim. It's called "grooming".
To succeed, they have to be able to fool the child they're talking to. And to do that, they have to know exactly what makes children tick, how they talk and everything they want to talk about. The paedophile grooming a potential victim will be incredibly attentive. And they'll be patient. They've been known to spend weeks, months even, communicating with a child, building a strong enough friendship to suggest meeting up. That's when it gets dangerous.
But the risk of a paedophile being in contact with your child is low. Make it lower. Talk to your children about it. Find the time to show an active interest in chat rooms and the internet. It'll make it much easier to talk to them about the potential dangers. And easier for your children to talk to you if they feel they need to.
Encourage them to avoid private conversations away from the other members of their chat rooms. Warn them against giving out any personal details, including their e-mail address or mobile phone number. And, most importantly, discourage them from ever meeting up with anyone from a chat room, unless you're there with them.
Remember, it's the paedophiles that are dangerous, not chat rooms.
A few tips on how you can protect children while they are online
Keep it in the open!
- Keep your computer in a family room, not in a bedroom, that way you can supervise it's use. Your child may well fight this idea, but you need to know what your child id viewing, and who they are talking to.
Keep in Touch!
- Its hard to get your child to let you know their secrets, but try to interact with your child while they are on the Internet - expressing an interest can be both informative and reassuring.
- Encourage them to show you anything which makes them uncomfortable.
- What we did with our son - have a pact, he is allowed unlimited use of the internet, within strict guidelines; no porn, no violence, no adult sites. We monitor his usage. If he strays from our guidelines he loses his internet access except for homework tasks. We use monitoring software so we know where he has been and what he has viewed.
Find a monitoring or blocking program here.
Understand the basics of the Internet!
- Grab a "Internet for dummies" book from the library
- Enrol in a night class or adult studies course in understanding the basics of computers and the internet
- Ask your ISP about how special software programs (Filtering etc) can be used to help protect your child.
- Use your children's expertise! Get them to show you how to use the internet.
Why have I made this website?
I have problems with paedophiles.
A girlfriend of mine who I lived with for 5 years, killed herself as a direct result of the abuse she (and her siblings) suffered as a child from her own father. She spent a lot of time in counselling and was a voluntary patient in a clinic. After being told by her Psychiatrist on Easter Thursday that there was nothing more they could do to help her she was sent home from the hospital. This devestated her and she decided she could cope no longer and killed herself on Easter Monday.
Since she died I have spoken to many girls and a few men who have been abused. Most of them find ways to cope with the pain it caused them, but they are still suffering. The pain is always with them, the guilt is always with them.
It is everyone's moral duty to try and stop the rot. If you ever become aware of anyone abusing anyone, don't keep your mouth shut, it makes you as guilty as the person inflicting the abuse. It does not matter if the person is your husband, father, son, grandfather or uncle, or even your wife, mother, daughter, sister you must report the abuse to the authorities. It is no good just telling the person to stop, the victim needs help, and so does the abuser.
Sexual abuse is not only inflicted by men on girls and boys. It is not uncommon for females to abuse males, it is just not talked about as much. Boys are more likely to bottle it up and pretend it did not happen.
David.